Skewed Expectations

***Disclaimer: before you read this blog, please realize that what you are about to read was God talking to ME about MY selfishness and MY short-comings. If you feel convicted too, well, that’s the Holy Spirit.***

I went to the dreaded doctor today. My appointment (well, actually the whole appointment process) really got me thinking “You get what you pay for.” OK, not so much with the doctor. It’s amazing how the one thing we pay the most for, our health, we don’t get to be picky with. This frustrated me. After all, I made an appointment over a week ahead of time. They knew I was coming, yet even thought I arrived 15 minutes before my scheduled time (like the automated confirmation phone call instructed me to), I still sat there waiting long past the appointed time. Then I realized something. Wow, how spoiled are we really?! Let me explain.

Just about anywhere I go that I’m willing to pay, I can expect timely service. Think about it. Restaurants – I expect to have my meal before my stomach eats itself from starvation. Exaggeration? Perhaps. Mechanics – I can expect to have my car back in a timely fashion because I’m paying good money and need it for my daily commute. Beauticians – I can expect my appointment to be on time since I am scheduled and am paying for the services rendered. Side note for my wife: Just give your beautician a break this time of year if she’s running a bit behind. Everyone (ahem, ladies) wants in before the holidays, and they are working day and night to appease your “needs”. I know this because my wife, Jackie, is working 12 hours shifts every day just to make you pretty before Christmas. Some people are compliant, while others better not have a strand of hair out of place. *End rant*

Anyway, back to my point. As spoiled Americans, we expect near perfection almost everywhere we go. It’s all about us. This got me thinking. Is it really any different in the Church? I’m talking about the “Big C church.” Being in ministry I’ve seen people leave because of the Church not catering to them. I’ve seen people leave because of the Church not offering what they want. If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years of being a Christian it’s this: the Church is the Body of Christ – NOT the staff of the church you attend or the building you attend it in. Nor is it just the people who have been going there most of their lives. It’s those whom Christ has redeemed through salvation. We (and I’m just as guilty) want to blame the Church for its shortcomings rather than taking responsibility ourselves. One of the best quotes I’ve ever heard regarding ministry is “Don’t complain about something you’re not willing to volunteer for.”

I’m not writing this Blog to get after anyone. To be honest, this whole thought-provoking process was self-reflection. God was talking to me! When we tithe in the Church, we’re not doing so to get something in return or to get noticed. We’re doing so to be obedient to our creator - the one who gave his life for us. We’re doing so to fund the Church so that it’s able to reach more lost people and enlarge God’s kingdom. My whole point of writing this blog is to encourage you this season to love on those around you – no matter where you are or what services you’re paying for. Be the Church outside of the church building. Be courteous. Be patient. Be loving. Be Jesus.

Students vs. Porn (4 of 4)

Tips for parents whose kids are viewing porn:

• Recognize that kids want and need adult guidance about sex.
• Watch out for teachable moments.
• Understand that pornography is not just for boys.
• Use parental controls, especially a filter.  Monitoring software, like X3watch (www.X3watch.com), can help provide accountability in your home. It monitors where your kids go and will send you information on any questionable sites your child visited, via email. Filtering software, like SafeEyes (www.internetsafety.com/xxxchurch) will block pornographic content on your home computer.  SafeEyes also has features for mobile devices.
• Ask your kids if they have ever seen something online that made them uncomfortable or curious.  Ask them if they have accidentally seen sexual pictures online.  If they have seen pornography, ask them how they came across it, what they saw and how it made them feel.  Talk to them about whether their friends are looking at pornography.  Help them to understand that you are here to help.  Do not embarrass or shame them.  If your kids are struggling with this content, they need your support and love to help them through.

Keep in mind these are just tips. I am by no means telling you how to parent your children. I just want to see this breakout of perversion put under control. As always, pray before you confront! 

Students vs. Porn (3 of 4)

Warning Signs That Your Child May Be Viewing Pornography: 

Your child may be viewing pornography if:

• You notice that they are showing signs of premature sexual activity or an unusual curiosity about sexuality.  
• You notice your child using suggestive terms or suddenly dressing more provocatively.  
• There are increased pop-ups, spam messages, viruses, or other inappropriate content on your family computer.
• Your child has erased the computer’s history, if they change the computer screen quickly or become increasingly defensive or secretive, it’s time to have a conversation.

These are just some indications. Porn's effects differ between people's age, gender, etc. Some are better at hiding their secret than others. One common denominator I've found through my studies is that both Christians AND non-Christians alike experience guilt when pornography holds them bondage. I think Paul nailed the reason for guilt on the head when he said:

"Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body." - 1 Corinthians 6:18 NIV

I also like the way the New Living Translation puts it:

"Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body." - 1 Corinthians 6:18 NLT

"No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does."

Think about it. 

Students vs. Porn (2 of 4)

Pornography’s harmful messages

• Pornography negatively impacts the emotional and mental health of a child.  
• A child will often become desensitized and will seek out more deviant, bizarre and even violent content.
• Children struggle to distinguish between the pornography “fantasy” and the reality of authentic, intimate sexual relations.  
• Kids who view pornography will often act out the behaviors they have seen.  
• Pornography often depicts sex without love and commitment and often pushes the limits of what is physically possible.
• Girls and boys who see pornography feel as if they can never measure up and often struggle to perform like the porn stars they have seen online.  
• Images can never be erased.                                                                                                                                                        These facts and statistics remind me of a book I just finished reading this past week about the dangers of pornography. The final chapter details the conversation that took place when Doctor James Dobson interviewed Ted Bundy just 17 hours before he was executed. Ted Bundy became one of the nations most notorious and feared serial killers for beating, raping, and then murdering at least 30 girls and women between 12 and 26. Two things really stuck out to me in this interview:

1. When asked about his childhood, Ted said that he was raised in a healthy, fine, solid, Christian home and was never physically, sexually or emotionally abused.
2. Dr. Dobson asked how it happened. "What are the antecedents of the behavior that we've seen?"  Ted answered "As a young boy of 12 or 13, I encountered, outside the home, in the local grocery and drug stores, softcore pornography. Young boys explore the sideways and byways of their neighborhoods, and in our neighborhood, people would dump the garbage. From time to time we would come across books of harder nature - more graphic. This also included detective magazine, etc., and I want to emphasize this. The most damaging kind of pornography - and I'm talking from hard, real, personal experience - is that that involves violence and sexual violence. The wedding of those two forces - as I know only too well - brings about behavior that is only too terrible to describe."                                                                                                                                      He later goes on to say that "The issue is how this kind of literature contributed and helped mold and shape the kinds of violent behavior. In the beginning, it fuels this kind of thought process. Then, at a certain time, it is instrumental in crystallizing it into something that is almost a separate entity inside." "Once you become addicted to it, you look for more potent, more explicit, more graphic kinds of material. Like an addiction, you keep craving something which is harder and gives you a greater sense of excitement, until you reach the point where the pornography only goes so far - that jumping off point where you begin to think maybe actually doing it will give you that which is just beyond reading about it and looking at it." 

Ted Bundy was executed at 7:15 a.m. the day after this conversation was recorded.

In closing, I think it is very important to point out one more thing - the most important thing:
It does NOT justify his maniacal behavior, but while in Prison, Ted Bundy did accept the forgiveness of Jesus Christ and became a follower and believer in Him. 

For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God.

- 1 Peter 3:18

Students vs. Porn (1 of 4)

This 4-part blog series is meant for parents with children of all ages. I've seen firsthand the destructive consequences that pornography has on children, teens, and adults today. Over the next 4 days I will be passing along some statistics, facts, advice, and tips of the dangers pornography has on our students.

Pornography
Most parents think their kids are immune to the dangers online… that they are too innocent, too smart or too “good” to get involved with pornography, but ultimately any child could get caught up in pornography use.  The content that kids are accessing today is far more graphic, violent, deviant and destructive than the pornography that you or I may have encountered when we were young, and no child is emotionally or mentally prepared to deal with this content.  It is your responsibility as the parent to protect your children to the best of your ability.

How are kids accessing pornography?

• Internet pornography is free and easy for kids to access and most porn sites have hardcore content on the homepage.
• There is little to no age-verification to prevent a curious child from entering a porn site.
• Pornographers also use a variety of deceptive marketing tactics, so even if your child is not looking for pornography, it’s more likely than not that they can accidentally access pornography through a misspelled word or through clicking on an innocent-looking link.  
• Some pornography is even associated with popular cartoon characters and teen icons, so a child searching for their favorite celebrity may accidentally come across hardcore pornographic content that way.  
• Additionally, we are seeing an increase in the amount of cross-marketing between online gaming and the pornography industry; be aware that mature video games may include virtual pornography, sex acts and other inappropriate content, so always check the game ratings before allowing your kids to play.  
• Kids can also encounter pornography on social networking sites like Twitter and Facebook, where porn stars or individuals with naked pictures of themselves may message or tweet at a teen to get their attention and expose them to pornographic content.  
• Finally, a new market is emerging for mobile pornography; your child could have easy access through their mobile device or through pornographic apps, so check up on their mobile Internet usage.

Regardless of how a kid may have accessed pornography, recognize that all kids are curious about sex, and a simple way for kids to learn more about sex is to go online.  If you aren’t using filters on your computer or your child’s mobile device, chances are, they could learn some pretty upsetting information about sex through online pornography.

Perfect example: about a month ago I was laying on my couch watching TV with my wife Jackie. I was checking my Twitter and had a direct message from someone I didn't know. In this message this person asked a question about my faith and then had a link to click on. So, naturally, I clicked it, and, to my surprise, it was a pornographic site. I immediately showed Jackie so she didn't think I was viewing porn on my phone. I then showed her the message, and we both agreed it looked 100% legitimate and innocent.
Trust me, if this happened to me, then it's happening every single day to millions of students around the world!
The next 3 days I will talk about  Pornography’s harmful messages, Warning Signs, and Parent Tips.
My hope and prayer is that if you are a parent of a child of any age that you'll read these posts each day. Don't worry, the other 3 will be shorter. :-)

Upcoming AMPED info/stuff

Hey parents,

Just a few of things to remind you of if you have a child that just got out of fifth grade through graduating senior:

1. Those students that just finished fifth grade will be officially moving up to AMPED on Wednesday, June 13. We are so excited to have them! Those that have graduated high school are welcome to keep attending AMPED and all our activities until the next school year starts in August.

2. On Saturday, June 16 we will be having a cookout to welcome those who just moved up. It will be here at the church. If you have a child in AMPED, please come with them! All our volunteers, small group leaders, and the rest of AMPED Student Ministries will be here, and we want you to get to know them. After all, these are the people that your kids are with every week! We will be having burgers, hot dogs, drinks, a bonfire, smores, cornhole, hillbilly golf, and more. Just bring your own chairs! If you have any other games, feel free to bring them too!

3. We still have 11 spots available for the Gatlinburg trip (June 21-24). If you would like some info, please see me asap for price, what we'll be doing, etc.

Finally, please encourage your kids to come throughout the summer and to bring their friends. It will be packed full of awesome activities. We have found that summer is the time to get new kids involved in church because of the fun things going on. Our #1 goal in AMPED is to make disciples that make disciples.

ALSO: Don't forget about VBS June 4-8 at Fort Branch Community School. It's going to be AWESOME!!!

Thanks for allowing us to hang out with your kids!!!

Summer trip to Gatlinburg

Hey AMPED parents,
It's almost that time of year again when we take our annual summer trip! This year we will be going to Gatlinburg, TN. We sent home permission slips and info sheets with your kids. If they weren't here or you didn't receive them, just see me for the slips and info. This trip will be for any student going into the 6th grade through exiting 12th grade. This is a great time for all of them to bond and get to know each other. Here is the info:

AMPED Summer Trip To Gatlinburg

June 21-24 (Thursday through Sunday), 2012

Day one (June 21) - Leave church in morning, drive, set up camp (camping in tents).

Day two (June 22)

1. Wonder Works http://www.wonderworksonline.com/pigeon-forge/ (mid day)
                                          
2. Jon Dee's Hypnotized Comedy Show http://www.gatlinburgshow.com/ (at 8 p.m.)
"Jon is a veteran youth pastor and very passionate about adding the positive message of "The Power Of Our God-Given Minds" to every performance while teaching the kids and teens the ability to say no to peer pressure."

3. Gatlinburg Space Needle http://www.gatlinburgspaceneedle.com/index.html                   (some time during the day and again at night after the comedy show to see the view both during daylight and dark - you get 2 passes per ticket).

Day 3 (June 23) – chillin’ at camp http://www.abcamping.com/abgatlinburg/index.php      (they have a 500 foot waterslide!) and then going to Clingman’s Dome http://www.clingmansdome.com/

Day 4 (June 24) - Pack up and head home.

We will be eating fast food once on the way down, cooking at camp all 3 mornings and evenings, having sandwiches for lunch Friday and Saturday, and eating fast food once on the way home.

Cost is $110 per person

·         This includes 3 nights of camping, all food, drinks, and snacks (except for eating out on the way down and back), Wonder Works, Jon Dee’s comedy show, and the Space Needle. The 500 foot water slide in the campground and Clingman’s Dome are both free!

·         This does NOT include extra spending money for souvenirs, snacks from gas stations, or meals that we eat out.

***Permission slips and money are due NO later than Wednesday, June 13!!!!!***

***There are only 26 spot available. First come, first served***